It is the middle of the night, I have an insanely busy morning, and yet my mind does not seem to want to fall asleep just yet. So I am laying in bed, listening to music. Actually listening. (I never listen!) Do you? Do you stop everything, put the phone down, log out of Facebook, and listen to the words and the melodies of our lives? I never give myself the time of day just to shut up for once, and listen (whether it is just to listen to complete silence, when even silence is loud, right?)
So because it is the middle of the night, and I am now completely free to think about my life as I listen to the stories and messages these songs have to offer, I am writing my second blog post:
I just got back home to Cleveland, Ohio after a ten day vacation to Southern California. While I had the time of my life, loving every second with my wild family, I came back to a quiet home (mind you, quiet is a word rarely used to describe my home). Regardless, it gave me more time to just think about what the purpose of my life is. I want to be inspired. I need to be inspired. I read a book on my four hour plane ride about a man that felt a similar urge so he literally up and went to Calcutta to work alongside Mother Teresa. WOW. Talk about inspiration! But that's just it, I need something like that. Maybe not something so...distant, or extraordinary, but something to build back the fire in my life.You see, I used to work at a Christian summer camp and every summer, between the staff and the campers, I was inspired to wake up every morning and serve. Serve others, serve the Lord. I was a devoted Christian and I was surrounded by those who felt the same constant fire. And now, I feel a little lost. (I don't mean literally, of course) I am still surrounded by amazing individuals who push and pull me, encourage and motivate me, but I need that drive to do something, be someone bigger than myself!
In this book the author writes about this "irresistible revolution", the movement that everyone must join because it is a feeling stronger than any emotion can embody. THAT IS WHAT I WANT. I want to not be able to describe my feelings because I am not done feeling them...
Those who know me closely, know that I have decided to start a new path in life. And I think right now, is the beginning. I agree with the author again when he basically says, that we have all studied and studied and studied what Christians are supposed to believe and how we are supposed to behave.. but no one has told us how Christians are supposed to live. So this is me, living, starting now.
"Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." I never understood what it meant, and now I finally do. It isn't about who knows more bible verses, but who lives out their meanings. It's not about who goes to church every sunday, but who lives each day as a living church. I am not that person, but one day at a time, maybe I can be. I am so far from the 'ideal Christian' I still screw up all the time but I am working on it!! In the bible, John chapter 14 Jesus says, "very truly I tell you, all who have faith in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these." I am not about to perform any miracles, but like Shane Claiborne says, "it is not just miracles, miracles were an expression not so much of Jesus' mighty power as of his love." And boy, do I love to love. Let the adventures begin.
Until next time,
Chani
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